The opening song, as Salman Khan storms on to stage and stomps his way through the extremely catchy Boom Boom makes you want to whistle, but be warned — it’s the only time you will want to do so. The rest of the film makes you wish you had not answered this wrong number.
For the most part, the script stays close to Chetan Bhagat’s book, barring that Katrina Kaif shares the story of six individuals and one night at a call centre when they receive a call from God with Salman Khan at an air base waiting lounge and not on a train journey. The first hour is spent establishing the characters and their uninteresting backstories. The film is so slow that you feel like you have endured the entire night shift, in real time, with this technically challenged and emotionally stunted group of call centre employees.
The dialogues are juvenile like this gem: “Dad, don’t clutter my mailbox like you have cluttered my life. I don’t want your attachment or your file attachments.” OK, maybe Bhagat deserves a wolf whistle here — but only if he is willing to share it with the costume designer who conjured Eesha Koppikar’s ensemble. A denim mini skirt teamed with leopard spot stockings and calf-high boots is hardly regulation wear for a night shift call centre employee.
Once the call from God gets through (the only call that might not suffer from poor network and call drops), the message from above is lost within the arduous screenplay and ham and cheese performances. Hello turns into a Rang De Basanti for call centre employees, rising up against arrogant Americans and infecting their systems with a virus. But the reward is nothing noble — it’s just another tactic for capitalistic gain and job security.
The director’s lack of grasp on the tone and intention of the film shows in the irregular graph of the performances. While Amrita Arora, Gul Panag, Eesha and Sharman Joshi keep their performances controlled, Sohail Khan rehashes the same old tricks; then there’s the extremely irritating and superfluous hip-hopping tech-support chap played by Suresh Menon and boss man Mr Baskhi played by Dalip Tahil who’s stuck in 80s’ style of acting.
Hello is likely to appeal only to those who have enjoyed Chetan Bhagat’s One Night @ The Call Centre (incidentally, the author does not make a cameo appearance in the film). If you do not fall in that category, you might end up singing an alternative variation of The Beatles’ song: “You say Hello, I say goodbye….”
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