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The day I'm satisfied with what I do, I'll die: Rekha

Rekha has just sung one of Mohammed Rafi's most difficult ghazals, Din dhal jaye from the film Guide, for a new comedy, Kudiyon Ka Hai Zamana in which she plays the lead.

However, Rekha doesn't think that she is a good singer. "Oh, I think a lot of actresses sing very well. Tabu sings beautifully. And have you heard Madhuri Dixit sing? She has an amazing voice," Rekha told IANS.

Tell her she reminds you of Geeta Dutt and she exclaims, "Funny, you say that! My sister says I could well be Geeta Dutt's sibling. No, I've never trained to be a singer."


Rekha will be next seen in Yatra and Kudiyon Ka Hai Zamaana.
"You're just being kind," she brushed aside the compliment. "My god, I've such a terrible singing voice. I'm not a singer. I don't sing the words. I feel them.
"And Shailendra saab's words in Din dhal jaye are so filled with layered feelings it's easy for any sensitive person to drown in them. My rule for singing is the same as living - I feel life. Feelings last forever."

Why this particular ghazal composed by Sachin Dev Burman? "I didn't really choose the song. I was just humming it on the sets one day when the director, Amar Bhutala, overheard me. He said, 'M'aam, you please sing this song for our film.' I protested that there was no situation for it. But he insisted that a situation will be created.

"I asked my director not to retain the original orchestration, just incidental natural sounds connected with the night. That's tough to do, because all the weaknesses in my voice show up much more clearly without orchestra."

She recorded the song on a computer and sent it over.

"Now when I hear it, I just want to drown myself. I just sat on the computer and gave a scratch recording to my director. I was sure of one thing. I didn't want to sing it like Rafi saab. No one can sing it like him except Lata didi, who has sung it so beautifully in the album Shraddhanjali.

"It was surreal like most things I've done in my life. It just happened. In fact, one should never delude oneself into believing that anything happens by one's own will. There's a force guiding and lifting you to wherever life takes you. You're powerless on your own."

When you wonder how she negotiated such intricate notes Rekha laughs. "That's what Simiji (Garewal) had said when I sang it on her (TV programme) Rendezvous. She couldn't believe I could scale those high notes of Lataji in the song Yeh kahan aa gaye hum (from Silsila). Simiji said she couldn't sing it. But, well, I didn't think whether I could or couldn't. I just did it."

Is she satisfied with her singing? "The day I'm satisfied with what I do, I will die. I'll never be content. But I'm grateful. I think I'm grateful for every slap, every painful failure. I've put them all behind me.

"There should be no question marks, only exclamation marks in life. I'm as strong or weak as the next person. But I haven't mastered the art of control over every situation. I'm trying to get there."

Rekha has two releases coming up before this year is through. "Goutam Ghose's Yatra and the comedy Kudiyon Ka Zamana. Both are very different from each other. I like to take up roles as a challenge, like I did the old woman's role in Krissh. I haven't seen the film. I've been travelling. But I'm happy to know it's a huge success."



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