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Hits N Misses This Week : Baywatch turns into Gaywatch


By  Subhash K Jha

The nation stared in disbelief as Abhishek Bachchan caught hold  of John Abraham and smooched him smack on the lips.

Well, at least it looked like a kiss. It wasn’t really. This is the second time in a month we’ve had two men kissing on  screen. The last time it happened in Madhur Bhandarkar’s Fashion where Samir Soni  really kissed his screen lover.

Being gay is not really a new thing. We saw Anupam Kher do it years ago in Rahul Rawail in Mast Kalandar and then again in David Dhawan’s Dulhan Hum LeJayenge. In both Anupam played his character effeminate.

Sanjay Suri and Purav Kohli played gay straight  with not a trace selfconsciusness in My Brother Nikhil. The intimacy level between the two was established not so much through physical contact as little signs gestures and moments of shared anguish.

Dostana turns the homosexual theme on the head… out of  the bed. In fact the ’straight’ hero BobbyDeol actually tempts the heroine to marry her by saying he’s good in bed. And try this for straight  gay-speak. John complains to Priyanka about Abhishek, "He can’t do anything. Main to isske liye din bhar khadaa rahta hoon…"

Aheh ahem. Hindi cinema has finally come out of the closet, with the heroes not inclined to get into wardrobe of any kind except briefs and bikinis.

Dostana could actually be an endorsement for beachwear of various sizes shapes and colours. Baywatch turns into Gaywatch without  missing a ling… sorry, link.

Besides Bihar which thumbed it down, ‘Dostana’ has opened to capacity audiences all over. The week’s other release Desh Drohi, a clumsy and crude attempt to cash in on the polarization of North  Indians in Maharashtra, opened well only in Bihar. The government  even awarded a tax exemption to this aesthetic barbarity.

It’s not enough to be topical. Cinema needs to have an aesthetic sense beyond the headlines.

I felt my heart reach  out to Vinay ‘Offbeat’ Pathak’s efforts to get an audience for his first home-production Dasvidaniyan. It was a well-intended heartwarming attempt to talk about those qualities that make life worth living. But as one colleague put it succinctly, "Watching Vinay Pathak in almost every frame for two hours is Chinese torture."

This colleague has obviously not seen Desh Drohi.

A huge recession is hovering over Bollywood’s head. Mend your ways or be dead. And the first Bolly-species who need a meltdown before the meltingpot simmers to a saturation point are the stars. Put simply the price quoted by them is way beyond anyone’s means.

"If we didn’t deserve it, we wouldn’t get it," reason the stars. I am sorry. But no actor in the world deserves the kind of money our stars command… or do I mean demand? Things had come to such a pass that actors who had no market at all like Shiney Ahuja and Kunal Khemu were asking for 2 crores each.

Chill, guys. Follow Preity Zinta’s diktat. She says if you only count the zeroes on the cheque your career soon ends up just a zero.

Stars Of  The Week: Abhishek Bachchan and John Abraham in Dostana. Cool as cucumbers these two fearless actors pull out all stops to play gay every which way. At the grand finale, they even grab  hold of one another to do a mock-smooch. Tom Hanks had refused to kiss Antonio Banderas in  Philadelphia. - (SAMPURN)

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